Posted on by Laura Jinkins

My Heart

This girl stole my heart from the moment I saw her 18 years ago....
This girl stole my heart from the moment I saw her 18 years ago….

When I first learned I was going to be a mom, I went into shock/panic mode.  I’d never really been around babies or even small children, other than my younger sister — and there was such a wide age gap, that I was busy with high school things while she was in her little kid years.  It wasn’t until my sister was probably 12 or 13 (and I was 22 or 23) that we really became close.  I didn’t know how to relate to babies or small children.  What does one talk about?  How do you play “baby dolls”?  I always had my nose stuck in a book throughout my childhood, so I was clueless on how one interacts with small ones.

I think it was about 3 months into it when I came out of the “Oh my gosh I’m pregnant what am I going to do? I can’t send it back!” phase.  Suddenly, I started getting a little more excited about things, but I tackled it from a very “Oh my gosh we are responsible for this small human being and must only purchase the best of everything” attitude.  And I’m not talking about designer baby clothes.  I’m talking “Has this car seat been tested and approved by NASA?  What ARE the best baby bottles?” and so on.

I was determined that if I was going to be a mother, I was going to be the best mother I could be.  But I was still afraid.  Her daddy, AJ, kept telling me things would be okay.  And even when it came time for her to be born and a c-section became necessary, he sat next to me in the OR holding my hand and telling me it would be okay.

And it was.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  In a nanosecond, I went from being afraid and worried that I might not even like being a mom, to realizing that I would do ANYTHING to protect this beautiful child that God had somehow seen fit to bless me with.

Over the years, I am sure there are some things that I/we could have done better as parents, but overall, I think we did okay.  It doesn’t hurt that she was pretty amazing from the very start.  She is a happy girl, rarely complaining (and when she does complain, it’s for a good reason and doesn’t last very long).  She’s creative – building wonderful worlds on paper with her command of language, making beautiful jewelry with her imagination, and filling our home with music at her beloved piano.  I love hearing from other people how much they enjoy spending time with her — she brings a lot of happiness into the lives of the people around her.

I just can’t believe she’s already 18 years old.

Where does the time go?

Happy birthday, to my beautiful Jami-girl.  I could not hope for a sweeter, lovelier daughter and I thank the Lord He chose me and your daddy to be your parents.  I love you.

— Mommy

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Under Pressure

This won’t be an eloquently worded post, as I have roughly five minutes to tap out some random thoughts before I have to finish polishing my notes for my class tonight.  But in the interest of posting more consistently, I thought I’d better go ahead and post something, no matter how random.

  • Nervous, but thrilled that my photography class had enough people register to avoid being canceled again.  Last update from the community education coordinator indicated at least thirteen students.  That is a lovely number for this class.  I’ve had classes with as many as 24 students (which got a little harried because there were quite a few chatty folk and keeping things moving forward was challenging, but we still had a good time), and I’ve had classes with as few as three students (which is challenging, because you don’t have the same level of interaction with such a small class, especially if any of them are shy).
  • My girl is turning 18 on Saturday.  She is taking the ACT exam that morning, and in the afternoon we are going to a benefit for the widow and small children of a young man who was fatally injured in a  four-wheeler accident last November.  He was helping to work cattle in a pasture not far from our home, and somehow the four-wheeler flipped.  He was 26 years old.  We’d planned on going for a late lunch or early dinner and a movie, but when she heard about the benefit, she decided that was what she wanted to do.  I love that girl.
  • The other day I ran some errands and I looked a bit haggard.  I was presentable, but I didn’t go to a lot of trouble to put on makeup or a nice shirt.  Jeans, old sweatshirt . . . you get the picture.  Jami and I were chatting and I said something to the effect of “Well, I guess I’m tidy enough to avoid ending up on “The People of Wal-Mart” . . .”  We both chuckled at first, and then I got to thinking about it.  If you’ve ever seen any of “The People of Wal-Mart” picture compilations, you know that some of the individuals captured therein probably deserve the negative attention they are getting for the weird get-ups in which they venture forth from their homes.  BUT I have seen pictures of individuals who were just having a bad day — I remember specifically a photo of a slightly overweight woman who appeared to have had an “accident” (in the interest of delicate wording) in her light-colored pants.  I felt sorry for her.  Who knows if she had a medical condition or perhaps the cleaning crew kept her from getting to the ladies’ room in time?  I hated that somehow her picture has provided “entertainment” for people who really need to examine the amount of meanness in their hearts.  I determined from that moment to never look at another post providing “entertainment” at another’s expense.

And now it’s back to my notes, as 6:00 p.m. is not that far away!

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 2 Comments

Still Here!

IMG_0015I’ve been busy the last few days — a new post will be coming soon.  There’s been lots going on:

  • My spring photography class at the college had enough students register this session to make, and I’m looking forward to teaching again.
  • My blind and shutter business has been steady, so that’s keeping me busy.
  • The teen girl is wrapping up her final months of homeschool.  Graduation is early May and I have a lot to do to get ready for that.

And now I’ve got to run, as I have a client appointment at 1:00 and I still need to grab a shower after having gone for a walk this morning.  Have a great day!

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 3 Comments

Each Day With Purpose

In the inconsistent early days of this blog, I wrote of “trying to get healthy” and “starting to exercise” and “losing weight” . . . and none of those times did it “stick.”  I’m not sure what’s changed, but about two weeks ago I determined that this time would be different.  And so far, it has.

I rediscovered MyFitnessPal and I’ve been wearing my FitBit (pedometer) faithfully.  I’ve managed to walk 1.5 miles in 30 minutes each day for the last 7 out of 10 days, and I log everything I eat on my “MyFitnessPal” app.  I made up my mind to not worry about goals.  I just think about getting through the next 24 hours.  In this 24 hours, I purpose to exercise and eat healthy.  Yesterday’s failures do not matter.  Tomorrow does not matter.  Just this 24 hours.  And that seems to have made all the difference in the world.

Lady Grey tea with stevia, Yoplait Greek yogurt and Cascadian Farms granola.
This is what 260 calories looks like!
This is what 260 calories looks like!
Lunch!!!!
Lunch!!!!

While I have had to adjust my tastebuds a bit, I’ve found that I am getting plenty of food and for the most part, it tastes good.  And when I get really “desperate,” a Hershey’s Kiss has 22 calories. 

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 2 Comments

Because of Who She Is

So my daughter is about to graduate from high school.  I can’t believe how fast the time flew (although everyone warned me it would) and I’m kidding myself if I think four years of college isn’t going to fly by just as fast or faster.  She’ll be an adult, looking for a job – hopefully one that she enjoys and from which she derives great fulfillment (and pays the bills).  These last few weeks, I’ve worried.  Did I do a good job?  Is she ready?  Prepared?  Did our homeschool/unschool/independent study way of doing things prepare her well enough for college and the years beyond?

And then I read things she writes, like her most recent blog post below, and I take a deep breath and feel the worry slipping away (a little).  She’s got a good head on her shoulders and she has strong communication skills and the ability to think things through.  Her priorities are in order and I can’t help but believe that she is going to be just fine.  Because of who she is, not what I did or didn’t do.

My Beautiful Girl

The Random Life of ME: {almost} adult-hood.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Irony

Somehow it seems appropriation that I would see this blog entry regarding all things 1980s becoming “vintage” the night before my 50th birthday.  Have to laugh, or else you’ll cry!

1980s design and decorating trends — we make a list.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 1 Comment

Clothing of the 50’s | Francine Rivers

Always a fan of Francine Rivers, I really enjoyed this blog she posted a few days ago.  I was especially amused by her granddaughter’s comment regarding the neckline of a woman’s blouse.  And then I thought, “How sad!”  Give it a read and let me know what you think of her hope for the return of 1950s’ clothing:

Clothing of the 50’s | Francine Rivers.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Precious Life

A few days ago, I read an article written by a pro-choice columnist extolling the “freedom” provided by Roe v. Wade and how the law made abortion safer for women, if they so choose to have one.  It contained a graphic “crime scene” type photo of a woman who’d attempted to induce an abortion herself in a hotel room and died from blood loss.  I suppose the writer hoped this photo would persuade readers with its shocking content that all women should be able to obtain an abortion at any time that they so choose, for whatever reason, to avoid the tragic end this woman experienced.

Desperate people seek desperate means out of their circumstances — and somehow the pro-life movement has got to meet these people where they are and find alternative solutions for them — there is no reason that a woman’s life should be “ruined” by an unexpected pregnancy, but there is no reason the child’s should be “ruined,” either.  I do not want to get into the debate of “the life of the mother” . . . I do know people who have been advised by their doctors that they should not have any other children for health reasons and I respect that.  I’m just wondering if there’s a solution there, too (tubal ligation, etc.) to pro-actively take steps to prevent “accidents” so that abortion is never an issue?

This video is powerful — probably one of the best communications of the history of the abortion debate and it does not rely on sensational photos to convey its message.  Simple testimony of historical facts from 1973 through today.  Give it a watch.

 Pro-Life Ad That You MUST SEE. – Chicks on the Right – Chicks on the Right.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 8 Comments

“Winter Jewels”

I had an appointment in town earlier this afternoon and was captivated driving there and back by the icy “jewels” clinging to the trees along each side of the road.  When I was pretty close to home, I noticed the frozen beads decorating the pasture fencing and knew I had to grab my camera and go back for a few shots.  Enjoy!

WinterJewels2

WinterJewels3

WinterJewels4

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Pleasant Surprises

Tracy posted an update on Kaitlyn’s status earlier today, and it was full of good news!  I believe God really is answering all our prayers, as the lump where the oncologist performed the biopsy is GONE.  If you click on the link to the left, it will take you to Kaitlyn’s “Give Forward” page and you can read it in her mom’s own words, which are better than anything I could try to pen here.  (And if you haven’t already, please consider making a donation to help with the additional expenses her family has that are not covered by insurance.  Thanks!)

We had planned on having Kaitlyn over for chick flicks and snacks last weekend, but the teen-girl started feeling kind of cruddy and we didn’t want to expose Kait to anything that might make her body weaker — she needs all her energy to do battle against the Hodgkins Lymphoma.  I am SO glad that we chose to postpone, because Jami has a full-blown cold bug complete with runny nose and coughing spells.  We’re looking forward to good health again so we can see our friend.  🙂