When I first learned I was going to be a mom, I went into shock/panic mode.  I’d never really been around babies or even small children, other than my younger sister — and there was such a wide age gap, that I was busy with high school things while she was in her little kid years.  It wasn’t until my sister was probably 12 or 13 (and I was 22 or 23) that we really became close.  I didn’t know how to relate to babies or small children.  What does one talk about?  How do you play “baby dolls”?  I always had my nose stuck in a book throughout my childhood, so I was clueless on how one interacts with small ones.

I think it was about 3 months into it when I came out of the “Oh my gosh I’m pregnant what am I going to do? I can’t send it back!” phase.  Suddenly, I started getting a little more excited about things, but I tackled it from a very “Oh my gosh we are responsible for this small human being and must only purchase the best of everything” attitude.  And I’m not talking about designer baby clothes.  I’m talking “Has this car seat been tested and approved by NASA?  What ARE the best baby bottles?” and so on.

I was determined that if I was going to be a mother, I was going to be the best mother I could be.  But I was still afraid.  Her daddy, AJ, kept telling me things would be okay.  And even when it came time for her to be born and a c-section became necessary, he sat next to me in the OR holding my hand and telling me it would be okay.

And it was.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  In a nanosecond, I went from being afraid and worried that I might not even like being a mom, to realizing that I would do ANYTHING to protect this beautiful child that God had somehow seen fit to bless me with.

Over the years, I am sure there are some things that I/we could have done better as parents, but overall, I think we did okay.  It doesn’t hurt that she was pretty amazing from the very start.  She is a happy girl, rarely complaining (and when she does complain, it’s for a good reason and doesn’t last very long).  She’s creative – building wonderful worlds on paper with her command of language, making beautiful jewelry with her imagination, and filling our home with music at her beloved piano.  I love hearing from other people how much they enjoy spending time with her — she brings a lot of happiness into the lives of the people around her.

I just can’t believe she’s already 18 years old.

Where does the time go?

Happy birthday, to my beautiful Jami-girl.  I could not hope for a sweeter, lovelier daughter and I thank the Lord He chose me and your daddy to be your parents.  I love you.

— Mommy