I’m going to just lay it out there … I’ve really be struggling with my relationship with God. Because of a lot of garbage in my life concerning my mother and my husband’s father, I’ve been giving into bitterness and resentment. Yes, yes … I know. It never hurts the other person, it only hurts you. And heavens, how it has hurt me. My soul feels cold as ice and it’s very difficult for me to get too terribly excited about anything of a spiritual nature. I feel like these people are sucking the life out of me and my immediate family due to their demands, and the truth is I am letting them do it by giving into the bitterness and resentment. As they say, the first step to solving any problem is recognizing that it’s there … and so I hope that this is the first baby step toward getting myself back on track with God, trusting Him to see us through these difficult relationships, regardless of what may happen around me.
As we enter a season of thanksgiving, I want to start with this: so far my immediate family of three has remained healthy, in spite of the frequent news we hear of friends and family coming down with various flu-like bugs. There have been several young people in our homeschooling circle that have had stomach ailments of some sort or another – two young ladies were diagnosed with hiatal hernias, another young man is having intestinal issues of such intensity that he has lost about 30 lbs. since school started. A series of test results at the renowned Texas Children’s Hospital still have doctors scratching their heads on that one. A positive diagnosis of one case of swine flu, and so it goes.
And so, while I may struggle with my walk, I’m taking a step of faith in saying “thank you, Lord, for keeping me, my husband, and our daughter healthy in the midst of such illness”.