From a good friend of mine in Arkansas comes two versions of a familiar fable:


OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  constructing  his home and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and  plays  the summer away.


Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no  food or shelter, so he dies, out in the cold.


MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be responsible


MODERN VERSION:


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, constructing   his home and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.


Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference   and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and   well fed while others are cold and starving.


CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home and a table filled with food.


America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that  in   a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to   suffer so?


Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and   everybody cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”


Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration – calling it racial   injustice- in  front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group   singing….,”We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel  down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.


Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter   Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”


Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper   Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer.  The ant is   fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs  and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is   confiscated by the government.


Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a   defamation suit against the ant. The case is tried before a panel   of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.


The ant loses the case.


The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of   the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens  to  be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t  maintain it.


The ant has disappeared in the snow.


The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize  the once peaceful neighborhood.


MORAL OF THE STORY:  Vote Republican

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