Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 14 Comments

End of the Affair

I believe my Facebook addiction is coming to an end. The more I write here, the less interested I am in what’s going on over there. I have logged on to use the FB chat function to communicate with a few friends, and I use the FB “share” button to let those on my FB friends list know I have something new here. But overall, there’s very little content there that really captures my attention.

It’s my hope that those who read my posts will start commenting here, rather than just clicking the “like” button and moving on. I want to have real conversations with people, I want to touch people’s hearts and I want them to touch mine with what we all have to say. Too much gets lost in FB “hookups” where there’s little commitment and too frequently people misunderstand each other’s intentions because too little time is spent in thought before posting.

Yes, I believe this is the end of the affair.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

A Lovely Day, Regardless

From all appearances, today was a terrible day.  From the moment my girl and I left, I wanted to be back home in my warm, dry house.  At least I thought that at first, because it was a grey cloudy day, and lots of rain fell from the sky.  I didn’t think to check the forecast before we left and the sweater I chose to wear was more cute than warm.

But in the same way you can’t judge a book by its cover, you can’t judge a day by the way things start out.  While my girl attended her honors history class, I grabbed a cup of coffee and some steel cut oatmeal at Brew N’ Bake and read some more of my book, Epic Grace.  I’m really enjoying that book!

Rain was still pouring from the sky when I picked her up at the college, and we ran errands in spite of the storm.  She bought me lunch at Apples Way (thanks, Jami!) and then we went to Hastings to pick up some magnetic bookmarks and a planner.  While we were in there, the skies REALLY opened up and we were stranded.  Stranded in a bookstore.  What a terrible fate…. I do not know how those six books managed to make it to the checkout counter with me.  Hmmmm…

Finally we were able to run to Collins Music Center in Bay City to pick up some music books for two of her piano students.  She read aloud to me from The Blind Contessa’s New Machine, a novel by Carey Wallace, while I drove.  Some people do not read well aloud, but I really enjoy listening to her read aloud.

Home from all the errands, safe and sound in spite of the rain.  A really nice afternoon with my girl.  I am blessed.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 2 Comments

A Little Addendum

Have I told you recently how much I love our church fellowship?  And have I told you that I feel so foolish for having taken it for granted for the 5+ years that we’ve been attending this church?  The fact is, I have had my priorities out of whack for YEARS.  I’ve prioritized tasks over people.  “I can’t make it to that service because I have this to do,” “Would love to do that ladies’ fellowship, but I’m so far behind on house cleaning/laundry/lesson plans,” and worst of all “I just don’t feel like going.”  To boot, my poor prioritizing hasn’t just been about church, but life in general.  I owe a lot of loved ones an apology.

We had a really beautiful New Year’s Eve service on December 31.  Such a beautiful service that I really felt convicted regarding my past attendance/participation.  Not in a “New Year’s Resolution” kind of way, but in a “I finally see why this is so important, and I really want to make a change in my life” kind of way.  Little did I know that personal issues in less than 48 hours would motivate me much more strongly that the New Year’s Eve service.

I’m not at liberty to say what those issues are, but let me reassure you that as I’ve been studying my Bible and really learning how to pray for guidance, answers, and even miracles, I am more convinced now that everything is going to be alright.  In fact, I believe things will be better than they ever were because of the amount of personal growth that will result for all those involved.  This is my third week to attend Wednesday prayer service, and like last week and the week before, I left feeling so encouraged by the scriptures and the fellowship of my friends.  I love that I’m welcomed with love, rather than judgment (“It’s about time you started coming to these services, heathen!”) and everyone sincerely cares and prays for each others’ needs.

There are some exciting events coming up in the future, too!  February 7th, there will be a ladies’ fellowship/luncheon — I’m going to bring sandwiches and Jami is going to bring a dessert (hopefully that delicious Vintage Cake that she bakes for the grill where she works).  Then February 13th, they are having a Valentine banquet for the couples in the church.  We went last year and it was so much fun — we are really looking forward to it again.  Easter falls in early April, and our associate pastor, Ed, is going to teach us about Passover and we’re going to have an honest-to-goodness Passover Seder.  I’ve always wanted to do that, and I am quite excited to learn the significance of the seder.

I’m chuckling, because I have written more on this blog in the last three weeks than I think I’ve written in a year or more.  I hope I don’t drive you crazy and that you enjoy my posts.  😀

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 14 Comments

Bueller, Bueller?

Just wondering if anyone is out there.  I would love to see some comments, even if they are short, just to know what your thoughts are on my posts!  When I blogged on Xanga (in the dark ages), I loved some of the conversations that my circle of friends/readers started in response to different posts.

Don’t be scared!  😀

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Shaking Things Up A Bit

So what do you think of the new digs?  Granted, it’s one of the free themes that WordPress offers — but I did change the color palette to something a little less pastel.  Sometimes a girl just needs a new dress or pair of shoes.  I’d had the same theme for over two years!  So after trying a few on for size, I settled on this one.  Let me know what you think! In other news, I’m reading a fantastic book that is also shaking things up a bit — it’s called Epic Grace: Chronicles of a Recovering Idiot, written by Kurt W. Bubna.  I haven’t even finished the first chapter, mainly because I’ve been highlighting and marking it up like a three year old set loose in a library with a box of crayons.  With a little more cognitive intent, though, I hope.  I went to Hastings with my daughter to look for a specific book she wanted to read.  Hastings didn’t have her book, but I happened to see this one on the shelf and ended up buying it.  I think it had to be a “God thing,” because this book is really ministering to me and some of the things I’ve been struggling with lately.  Mr. Bubna is so real.  In the introduction, he admits the word “idiot” may not be politically correct, and that it’s difficult in today’s world to keep current on what words are acceptable, as quickly as our cultural lexicon changes.  That made me ponder how difficult it is to be authentic in our conversations about faith.  I mean, really!  The God of the universe tells us to come as we are — we don’t have to be perfect before committing our lives to him, but we have to worry about the words we use while sharing our experiences in our journey with Christ?  Do you find that a bit contradictory?  I know I do! I hadn’t even gotten to the first chapter (I was still reading the introduction) and found great comfort in his words: “Maybe you’ll find out, as I have, that God delights in re-crafting our sorrows, failures, and missteps into trophies of his epic grace.”

Romans 8:28 —  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I am looking forward to seeing the Lord turn sorrows, failures, and missteps into testimonies of how He will never leave me or my family in the valley, of how we will come out on the other side stronger and more committed than ever to serving Him.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Fear is the Robber of Faith

This morning’s service was phenomenally good, and I’m so glad I was there to hear it.  I’ve been working very hard on my tardiness problem, especially when it comes to church.  Even though I was running behind this morning, we managed to get there only a couple of minutes after 10:30 — miraculously, the service had not yet started!

Pastor is preaching (teaching?) on faith right now, and I can’t think of anything that could possibly be more important to me now than faith.  I’ve been struggling with doubt for months (years?), doubt which often translates to fear, and the service this morning really made me think deeply about my faith.  I’ll share some of the scripture references and notes I took, along with my impressions now that I’ve had a little time to ponder everything I heard.

Mark 11:22 — 22And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. 23Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. 24Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

I’ve heard this passage many times over the years, and today was the first time I’d heard it explained in a way that I could actually identify with it.  I mean, really!  If I go stand at the foot of Mount McKinley and say with authority, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea,” I don’t doubt that God could do that.  BUT why would He do it?  What purpose would it serve?  Doesn’t that seem to be a silly test of the power of God? The mountain referred to in this passage, while it most certainly could be, is not necessarily an actual mountain.  Pastor threw this thought out there:  the mountain could be fear, sickness, debt, sin, and a host of other examples I wasn’t able to scribble down before he moved on.  The important point is, whatever the trial, whatever the trouble, no matter how big it may seem to us — nothing is impossible for God if we trust in Him and His word.

“Faith is not how strong you are — it’s how strong God is.” — Pastor Rick

Often it is easy for us to have faith for someone else’s circumstances.  When the next-door neighbor is facing a health crisis or a family member’s work situation is making them miserable, it’s easy to say, “Oh, I’ll pray for you!  God will see you through this!”  But put that shoe on the other foot — your foot, and suddenly that faith is a little more difficult to hold onto.  This is why it’s so critical for us to read the Bible and really absorb God’s promises into our hearts and minds, so when doubt comes we can rely on what we know to be true.

Romans 10:17 — 17So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

So if nothing is impossible for God if we’re trusting Him, then life should be easy peasy from this point onward, right?  Not so fast there.  While faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, it is NOT a means for telling God what to do.

1 John 5:14 — 14And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 

Did you catch that very important part of the Word?  “…if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.” So it’s not a magic formula for obtaining all the things that we think will make us happy.  God has a perfect plan for each one of our lives, and if we trust in Him and His perfect will, we will experience a joy and peace that cannot be disturbed by circumstances.  Strong’s defines “faith” as being “absolutely convinced”.  We can be absolutely convinced that whatever circumstances may come our way, God has everything under control and we can get through those circumstances knowing we’ll come out of the experience stronger and even more confident in the knowledge that God will see us through to the other side.  

If God is by us every step of the way, and while we don’t know the finer details, we know His plan is perfect — how can there be any room for fear?  We are not alone.  We’re on an adventure and we have the Creator of the Universe by our side all the way.  What is there to fear?  Nothing!

I’ll wrap it up with this for now.  In 1 Samuel 17:4, the Bible says,

4And there came out from the camp of the Philistines a champion named Goliath of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. 5He had a helmet of bronze on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze. 6And he had bronze armor on his legs, and a javelin of bronze slung between his shoulders. 7The shaft of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his spear’s head weighed six hundred shekels of iron. And his shield-bearer went before him. 8He stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, “Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. 9If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us.”10And the Philistine said, “I defy the ranks of Israel this day. Give me a man, that we may fight together.”

In other words, this really scary dude challenged the Israelites to a duel.   There was a lot riding on the line, because if the Israelites were not able to defeat this nine foot tall giant, they would become the servants (slaves?) of the Philistines.  The Israelites had to find someone to take this guy down, or they would be doomed to lives serving the Philistines.

23…behold, the champion, the Philistine of Gath, Goliath by name, came up out of the ranks of the Philistines and spoke the same words as before. And David heard him.
 24All the men of Israel, when they saw the man, fled from him and were much afraid. 25And the men of Israel said, “Have you seen this man who has come up? Surely he has come up to defy Israel. And the king will enrich the man who kills him with great riches and will give him his daughter and make his father’s house free in Israel.” 26And David said to the men who stood by him, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

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Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Some Things Never Change

This morning/afternoon, I spent three hours talking to my dearest childhood friend.  It was like balm to my soul, a long overdue visit with someone who has loved me almost as long as my parents and sister, and a little longer than my husband and daughter.  We met on the last day of school in seventh grade.  We were like Anne and Diana, Trixie and Honey.  From the first moment we met, we were kindred spirits and friends forever.

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Anne and Diana
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Trixie and Honey

I remember we spent the entire summer between seventh and eighth grade talking on the phone.  We obviously couldn’t go anywhere, being too young for drivers’ licenses.  Her mom was the city secretary, so she worked every day and my mom was busy with my little sister and volunteer work at our church.  So I laid on the carpeted floor in my parents’ bedroom, the receiver of the princess-style phone between my chin and shoulder and she probably did the same at her house on the other side of town.  We talked about all the things that not-quite-eighth graders do:  who our friends were, which teachers we hoped to get, which classes we liked and hated, how much we hoped our moms would let us start wearing makeup to school.  Boys were just barely on the radar — we’d both had baby crushes the year before like all girls that age do.

When summer ended and the school year began, we were very happy to discover we were in the same English class.  We were in Mrs. Goen’s class and we were not given assigned seats so we were able to sit near each other.  We passed notes back and forth, finally had our first serious crushes (unrequited, of course), learned to diagram sentences, and she became my first and biggest fan when she read my poems and short stories.  I remember her asking me that if anything ever happened to me, “would you please leave me all your writing?”  Eighth graders can be so dramatic!

I won an honorable mention in a Houston writing contest that year and the awards ceremony was held in the La Fontaine Ballroom of the Warwick Hotel .  My teacher said that I could ask a friend to attend the ceremony, along with my parents and so I asked Renae to share the most grown-up moment of my life to that point.  Lynn Ashby, a well-known columnist for the Houston Post, was the guest speaker and I knew we were on the fancy side of town when I spotted an exotic and rare “anchovy” atop my salad.  The night was absolutely magical and I was so happy my best friend was there to share it with me.

We made it through the remainder of junior high, spent another summer talking on the phone, and began our freshman year of high school.  We just thought we’d been something in eighth grade.  All the confidence that we’d built up being the upper classmen to the seventh grade “kids” was dashed to smithereens when we migrated from a campus that consisted of one large building to a campus that covered several acres.  Eight minutes were allowed for class changes to ensure there was enough time to traverse from one side of campus to the other if your classes were so unfortunately scheduled.  I’m sure the 900 “fish” that descended on Alvin High School that first day looked quite comical, trying to find lockers, classes, and the cafeteria without looking totally lost.  Thankfully, we had each other for support as we navigated our “new normal”.

By this time she’d decided she wanted to be a brain surgeon and I was pretty sure I was going to be the next Great American Novelist.  We met most days in the sub cafeteria beneath the auditorium for lunch and discussed the future and all its possibilities.  And the cute guys, of course.

Two months into ninth grade, my dad took a job overseas and I was gone for fifteen months.  Neither of us developed the knack of written correspondence and so we were excited that my dad’s employer allowed us to return home for a month in the summer to visit family and friends.  I still remember meeting Renae and three other friends at the Pizza Inn on Gordon Street to eat pizza and talk, talk, TALK!  It was wonderful to be home, but I didn’t regret moving to the Caribbean, because the islands offered so much inspiration for my poems and stories.  In fact, I fell in love with St. Croix and seven months later when my dad said we were moving back to Texas, I really struggled with mixed emotions.  I was thrilled to be moving back where my dear friend lived, but I didn’t want to leave the island, either.  So when I returned a few days after my 16th birthday, she understood my mixed up emotions and was a true friend in the way only a kindred spirit can be.

We had a few classes together over the remainder of our high school years and made lots of memories.  We went to plays together (Dracula, The Merchant of Venice, Wait Until Dark, to name a few), hung out when studies allowed, and never stopped being each other’s confidant.  One autumn, her parents took us to the Texas Renaissance Festival and christened me “Jaws,” because I could not stop talking about all the wonderfully fantastical things I’d seen that day — and later I returned the favor by calling them “Papa Jaws” and “Mama Jaws” because they truly treated me as one of their own and I’d come to love them as though they were my second parents.

Graduation came and went and we spent the summer hanging out when we could prior to entering the “big leagues”:  college.  She went off to Baylor and I stayed at the community college, before transferring to Sam Houston.  Life got really busy and it became harder for us to whittle out time for visits, but we stayed in touch as much as possible.  Eventually, we both graduated, got jobs, and ended up living in the same apartment complex in Houston.  Work schedules (lots of overtime at the law firm where I worked; her work in the Medical Center as a speech pathologist) and social lives (she had a Greek boyfriend at the time; I had a black cat) managed to make that apartment complex seem HUGE, but we knew in our hearts that if either of us ever needed the other, we would be there for each other.

Then . . . she took a position at a hospital in Ohio and our lives changed forever.  Before it was a walk across the complex, or a car drive down the road — but now it was half way across the country and I wondered if our friendship would be able to survive that “new normal”.  Thankfully, I discovered it could and would.  She was there to stand by me when I pledged my vow to my husband, and I was there to stand by her when she pledged her vow to her husband.  We sent photos back and forth of our children, and while phone calls are not as frequent as either of us would like, when we do connect it’s as if we’re still those not-quite-eighth graders, lying on the carpeted floors of our parents’ bedrooms sharing our hearts as only two kindred spirits can.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

Rejoicing

I attended mid-week prayer service for the second week in a row.  No small thing, since I have struggled to be faithful in my Sunday morning attendance for years.  But as is often the case, when trials and tribulations arise, we often sink to our knees.  Our family is going through a rough patch and I’ve discovered myself drawing closer to the Lord, and this time it’s different.  In years past, I would pray through a difficult circumstance and then return to my old habits.  This time, I feel an incredible desire to change my ways — to honor the Lord who gave His Son to die for me.  It’s not a “get out of jail free” card this time around, and it pains me to admit that I ever felt that way.  But you need to know that to understand how different my experience is this time.

Usually when I would struggle with a rough patch in life, I would pray “Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God — Pleeeeeeeeease help me!”  Things would get better (hooray!) or things would stay the same (boo!) and I’d go on about my business.  Obviously, this is not how it’s supposed to work.  God is not some vending machine that we pop our two “Oh, God, pleeeeease help me”‘s in with expectation of everything being put to right.  Considering the Creator of the universe sacrificed his only begotten Son to die for my sins, it’s pretty certain He’d like to have an ongoing relationship with me.  Since He found me (and all of mankind) precious enough to sacrifice His Son . . . it’s not a casual relationship He’s after.

I can’t really go into the details of the rough patch that I’m traveling through, but after several days of prayer and the Lord showing me scripture after scripture that really ministered to my heart, I had a revelation:  as much as I was grieving for the situation, how much more does the Lord grieve for each person who rejects His gift of salvation?  Or the person who goes through the motions without truly saying, “Lord, I yield myself to your perfect plan for my life”?

After thinking about this for a while, I realized that I did not want to “pray and have faith” until the storm passed, returning to my old ways until the next time a crisis arose.  I’m going to truly walk my talk, and that’s something to rejoice about.  But it’s not the only thing.

Like I mentioned above, I’ve really been praying for this circumstance to be resolved.  And as I’ve sought guidance from the Word, from family, and from my pastor, I’ve learned (and will learn) so much.  Here are some of the things that I’ve learned thus far:

Submit your petitions to the Lord and then thank Him for them.

Over the years I’ve been prone to the “groveling/repetitious” prayer.  “Oh, God, please, please, please …. Dear God, please, please, please”.  In my reading, however, I read the following in James 1:2-8:

2) Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3) because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  4) Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  7) That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8) he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

From that passage alone, I’ve come away with the knowledge that this “rough patch”, while causing a lot of heartache and tears, has already drawn me closer to the Lord than I’ve been in years or perhaps even in my life.  The footnotes in my NIV Bible say this:  “James doesn’t say if you face trials, but whenever you face them.  He assumes that we will have trials and that it is possible to profit from them.  The point is not to pretend to be happy when we face pain, but to have a positive outlook (“consider it pure joy”) because of what trials can produce in our lives.  

We also must have a positive outlook as described in verse 6:  “…he must believe and not doubt”.  I just love the footnotes in my Bible, because they help to clarify so many things.  In this passage, the footnotes say:  To “believe and not doubt” means not only believing in the existence of God, but also believe in his loving care.  It includes relying on God and expecting that he will hear and answer when we pray.  We must put away our critical attitude when we come to him.  God does not grant every thoughtless or selfish request.  We must have confidence that God will align our desires with his purposes.

Continuing on:  A mind that wavers is not completely convinced that God’s way is best.  It treats God’s Word like any human advice, and it retains the option to disobey.  It vacillates between allegiance to subjective feelings, the world’s ideas, and God’s commands.  To stabilize your wavering or doubtful mind, commit yourself wholeheartedly to God.

SO — if we are in the midst of trials, we should count it joy that those trials are helping us to grow stronger in the Lord, even if it doesn’t feel like it while we’re going through the trials.  In addition, as we pray to our heavenly Father, we should have confidence that He WILL answer our prayers, as long as what we pray for lines up with the Word.  I expect asking for the winning lotto numbers does not fall into the “lines up with God’s Word” category.  But praying for another individual’s salvation or restoration to relationship with God? — definitely on the list.

I just love how the Lord has been confirming all the things I’m learning in the rough patch.  This evening, during the prayer service, one of our elders spoke briefly and said, “Rejoicing is a sign that we’re trusting the Lord.”  I just love that!  I’ve been shedding more than a few tears the last few days, and I asked Pastor about it.  I said, “Is it wrong to cry so much when I’m supposed to be trusting God for an answer to my prayer?”  He said he didn’t think so, as long as my tears were not rooted in fear.  Truthfully, I can’t really say if they were or weren’t, but I’m choosing to REJOICE in the Lord from here on out — I’m choosing to TRUST the Lord to resolve this rough patch.

Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Again, those desires have to line up with His Word (no lotto ticket numbers), but isn’t that an awesome thought?

Philippians 4:6,7 says “6)  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  7)  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

If I delight in the Lord, rejoice in the Lord, find joy in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, He will answer my prayers.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  It just seems like joy is part and parcel of prayer, and that by being joyful when praying for specific needs, it’s like saying, “I trust you, Lord, and I know you have this under control.”  I am working on making this kind of prayer — joyful, thankful prayer — a integral part of my life with the Lord.

Posted on by Laura Jinkins · 1 Comment

My Marriage Wasn’t Meant to Be | TheBlaze.com

A thought-provoking article on the whole “soul mates” thing.  Personally, I think he’s spot on.  Love is a choice, each and every day.

My Marriage Wasn’t Meant to Be | TheBlaze.com.

 

Posted on by Laura Jinkins

An epic story of mercy, compassion, and unconditional love

I can’t add much to this. Chris Martin writes truth in this post. Read. Absorb. Do.

Chris Martin's avatarChris Martin Writes

The story of Malchus is one of my favorites in the Bible.

Luke 22:47-53:

47 And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him. 48 But Jesus said to him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

49 When those around Him saw what was going to happen, they said to Him, “Lord, shall we strike with the sword?” 50 And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear.

51 But Jesus answered and said, “Permit even this.” And He touched his ear and healed him.

52 Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, “Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and…

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