Despite the grey felt sky raining light, heavy, and again light but constant raindrops on the grey earth below, I had a lovely coffee date this morning. My friend is getting ready to go on a road trip with her sister — a road trip full of family, babies, and opportunities to make memories. I look forward to hearing about it when she gets back and we meet for coffee again. Whether that day is a rainy grey day again, or one full of sunshine and puffy white clouds, I’m sure our visit will be as lovely as today’s.

She has left and now I’m sitting at my favorite table, in the corner next to the electrical outlet (an important detail for my laptop’s energy needs). This table is perfect because my chair is in the corner and I’m not in anyone’s way. I can see everyone in the shop, if I choose, or I can look down at my computer and pretend I’m here all alone, thanks to headphones that aren’t even playing anything. They are an excellent “Do Not Disturb” sign, allowing me to hear the life swirling all around me, participating only if I choose.

I’m debating on what to work on. There really shouldn’t be a debate. I should be working on my novel. I should be reworking Kate and Sam’s first chapters so I can move forward. Originally a friend said, “Just keep going from where you are, and then go back and fix the first part later.” But I can’t do that. The messy mess that is the first 100 pages must be reworked because it affects the rhythm and flow of what comes next. My OCD tendencies (compulsions) won’t allow me to shift gears midstream.

It frustrates me so much — this need to go backwards before going forward. I suppose it’s important to resolve past issues before moving on, though. If your baggage is full of dirty laundry, it makes it difficult to pack clean for a new adventure.

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