Tomorrow we face another first — our first Mother’s Day without our mama. I went out to the cemetery earlier this afternoon to put some flowers on her grave. I almost didn’t go, because I had a difficult time deciding what to put out that wouldn’t look cheap or tacky. Since we live in another town, fresh flowers seem such a waste. I wanted to find some “silk” flowers that would stay pretty for a while until I can get up there again to put out some more.

AJ had a great suggestion and I ran with it. Mama was a very patriotic person, and he suggested I put some American flags on her grave. I was able to find some red silk roses and some red, white, and blue silk hydrangeas, as well as seven small American flags — one for each of us, and one for Mama. I thought arranging them like so would help make up for the current lack of a headstone. That’s something we are hoping to remedy in the not-too-distant future.

I want to share a couple of photos of Mama from her sixteenth year, in 1959. Wasn’t she a cutie?

There was another lady at the cemetery while I was there, and we ended up visiting for a few moments. Her mother passed away several years ago, but she said it never really gets any easier. I can believe that. You might get busy and your busyness keeps you from thinking about your sadness. But some little something will remind you, and the next thing you know, you’re blinking back a tear, or three.

My mind sometimes goes in weird directions, and a few days ago I thought of Mama and the teal dress we chose for her burial. You can see from the photo below it was originally purchased for a happier occasion. I keep thinking about how weird it would have been — we were out shopping for wedding things, having a great time together. How strange it would have been, to see into the future for a split second and know that this beautiful teal dress being purchased for a wedding celebration is also the dress that will be chosen for her burial almost twenty-four years later.

I’m glad she saved the dress. I always thought she looked so pretty in it, even though blues and variations of blue were not her favorite colors. She knew I loved blue and I think that may have swayed her decision to buy the dress. Or at least I like to think so.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I wouldn’t wish for any other mama and I miss you very much. See you in heaven someday!